Painful Disconnect....

"You can measure the degree to which your heart beats with His by your visible, active concern for the needy." Indeed devotional on Ecc. 4


This was in my devotional reading this morning and I need to say, it is like the final blow of the hammer hitting the nail on the head of a painful lesson. I know that we are called to be comforters to those around us in their times of need. "God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." 2Cor 1:3-4 I have been comforted more by God and others, than I will ever to be able to repay. My hearts desire is to share that comfort. I want to help others receive the hope and peace that I have found in Christ. One of my favorite prayers is the prayer of St. Francis. It is a prayer asking God to make me a instrument of His peace. In there is the request asking him to help me to seek to comfort rather than to be comforted, and to love than to be loved. In other words it is a prayer asking to be more like Christ.

This is impossible to do if I am disconnected from the only one who makes that possible.

Over the last couple months I have failed countless times to fill this desire of my heart. I've felt like Paul. "I have discovered this principle of life-that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh what a miserable person I am! Romans 7:21-24

That power within me is anything I allow in my life that takes my primary focus away from my relationship with God. These last couple of months I let many of my old ways take me on a downward spiral. I allowed old attitudes, thoughts, behaviors and feelings, take my focus off Jesus. I got self-absorbed in my "stuff", (& it really is all small stuff,) and my feelings, at the same time I started taking on responsibilities that weren't mine to take and started trying to 'fix' circumstances or people that weren't mine to fix. Though my heart meant well, my mind and eyes were not focused on Christ.

I could see and feel myself making choices that I didn't want to make, doing things I didn't want to do and neglecting what is really important, loving God and serving others. I didn't' start fighting back hard enough or soon enough and this weekend I imploded. If you've ever done that you now how painful it is. I know and have seen how God has worked it all out to His glory. Because of the choices I made I have missed many blessings, but I got the lesson. It's a lesson I don't wish to repeat, ever. So I will work harder and press onward. May it be to His glory that it will stick this time. "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matt 6:33

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace;
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
Amen.

Taken From Chapter 11 (Page 99) of the "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions", a book published by Alcoholics Anonymous* World Services, Inc.

Let Go or Hang on?

How many times have we seen the picture.... A long rope with a big knot at the end of it and a cat appears to be 'hanging on' to it...The sentiment reads.."When you get to the end of your rope, just tie a knot and hang on"

First of all, I have not figured out how to tie a knot at the end of the rope and still hang on, second, by the time I get there I am usually out of strength to do much of anything, and third if the only thing I am doing is hanging on... what is going to change? If I am hanging on, I will continue to exhaust myself and ... well for me that has always lead to misery.


Over the last 17 years I have grown much more accustomed to "Let Go and Let God" I have found that when I let go of the rope or whatever it is I am hanging onto and reach for the hand of God, He is always there, reaching out to me. Unlike a rope, He will grab me back and hold onto me. When I am weak He is strong, He will lift me up or He will hold me and He will gently set me back down on solid ground.

I just read in a new devotional this morning something that sums this up for me.

“Your faith in God today is your lifeline to His heartbeat. Faith is the hand that reaches up and takes hold of God’s promises and gathers in the spiritual treasures that are found in Christ. Faith sees the sunshine of God’s face even when there are dark clouds all around.” Taken from: 'Today is Your Best Day’, published by Barbour Publishing, Inc. and is used with permission.

Today I choose to embrace the blue skies as though I am on eagles wings. I am gratefully enjoying the Love of God that has wrapped the blessings of friendships and relationships I never thought I could have. I live in a peace and contentment beyond my comprehension. God has provided for my every need and has blessed me with gifts and treasures, experiences and opportunities I never would have thought to ask for. Today I am richly blessed because I choose to let go.

When we let go faith can take us wherever we want to go.

"For as the
waters fill the sea, the earth will be filled with an awareness of the glory of the
Lord"

"..His brilliant splendor fills the heavens,
and the earth is filled with his praise. His coming is as brilliant as the
sunrise.

"Rays of
light flash from his hands where his awesome power is hidden."

Habakkuk 2:14; 3:3b-4

Beneath The Silence.

Have you ever wondered what goes on beneath the surface of the ground after you plant a seed? What does it look like? What way are the roots growing? Would we see struggles? Would we see pain in the roots as they grow? Would we see any light or just darkness? What about sound, is there any?

I know from my own experience in pulling up plants that they always seem to have more roots holding them down than I ever imagine. I wonder, how did there get to be so many and why are there so many on such a tiny plant? And have you ever wondered how those little things can be so tough? I am not a green thumb by any stretch of the imagination but I do know that the roots of a plant are how the plant gets its nourishment and strength to stand and grow. When the delicate flowers and plants are up against a strong rain storm or a drought, it is in the depth and strength of its roots that it will find its sustenance. And when the winds blow it’s the deep roots of the plant that keeps it grounded. Though it may become bruised or broken and at times wither, if its roots are strong and their gardener is attentive to its needs, it will not just survive but will grow into the beautiful plant that God intends, and much praise will be given to the gardener.

I believe God does that with us. At least that is what it feels like he was been doing with me over this last year. After what seemed like a long year of storms, the past 12 months has been a time of “refreshing”. I felt weakend, bruised and shaken last year. But my faith in my gardener remained strong. Without which I know I would not have come through the shaking as I did without drying out completely. It has been by continuing to nourish my roots in Christ that has enabled me to walk through “life on life’s terms”. It’s in times beneath the surface, the "“silent times” sometimes in the dark cold times that I’ve grown stronger in Him. In those times I experience the comfort of my Gardener and am able to soak in the blessings of this life He has given me. It’s during these times that I have become grateful for and learned to embrace and enjoy the “simple things” in life, taking walks or bike rides, playing with the pets, or just sitting in the sun or under the stars at night, fun times and quiet times, alone or with an expanding circle of friends.

In order to grow beautiful and strong, like the oak tree and the evergreens, I must seek to go down deeper in the soil of my soul. Deeper into the word of my Gardener that feeds life into my spirit and is the very essence of my being. Just as the roots of seedlings go deeper receiving good nourishment to grow up right and beautiful, bearing good fruit, I pray that as I continue to go deeper in Him and remain under the shadow of His wings, I too will grow up right and beautiful bearing the fruit He planted me to produce. All for His glory and praise.

I am blessed! And I am grateful, may I not fail to bear fruit.

7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17